skeuse mey

[Chef]

If this doesn't make you laugh out loud .........
 
 
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.


Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became
apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such
a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."


She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later
her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the
country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because
she had to walk home.


On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked
beans was more than she could stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk
off any ill effects by the time she reached home.

So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it.


Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from
his wife, the telephone rang.


He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.

He then went to answer the telephone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out
of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg
and let it go.


It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill.

She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.

Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she
went on like this for another ten minutes.

When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she
fanned
the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and
folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.


She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
 apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she
assured him that she had not.


At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her
a "Happy Birthday"!!!

ike :-[ :-/

[twg]

Good one.  :D :) ;D

[Pit_Girl]

eeeeewwww!! :o  hehehe


-jen

[Nate R]

Lowly Pit Girl??!!?? What are you talking about? You'll be the one holding down the fort, taking lap times, putting the bike on the stand, telling me to shut up when I start rambling, helping me get my leathers off, making sure I'm hydrated, help keeping track of the races, provide moral support, help set up/pack up if you can.

Lowly my rectal orifice! I would've been HONORED to be someone else's Pit Guy last year, but that's just me.

Not saying you should be honored, I'm saying I think it'll be fun, and it's not lowly at all, but quite respectable. I'm really thankful that you're gonna put in that effort for me. I'm sure anyone with a pit helper appreciates it. Anyone else? Thoughts?

[Super Dave]

Yes.  Sometimes your pit help has to be an emotional tampon for the whiney nature of racers.  "My bike's too slow."  Blah, blah, blah...

It seems to be different if a racer tells you that you're slow in corner X, but when it comes from the "sidelines", racers tend to burst.  So, Pit Girl, be prepared!  And just remember that this is fun.... ;D

[Dawn]

Yes.  Sometimes your pit help has to be an emotional tampon for the whiney nature of racers.  "My bike's too slow."  Blah, blah, blah...

It seems to be different if a racer tells you that you're slow in corner X, but when it comes from the "sidelines", racers tend to burst.  So, Pit Girl, be prepared!  And just remember that this is fun.... ;D

LOL!!!!

Dave - you hit this one right on the head.

Dawn   :)

[jim_p]

DRTY- Very funny, and I did laugh out loud like you said .......

[Super Dave]

Being the instructor is similar too. LOL!

 Except if the whining gets bad, I can ride their bike.  ("See, it works fine.  Ride the bike;  have fun!)

[Bernie]

My wife just tells me I'm slow. :(  "Why do you crash so much?" :o

[funksouljon]

"Why do you crash so much?" :o

God knows I have heard that before!